I’ve been doing a lot of work with one of my children on listening. Not listen as in listen and obey…but really hearing what people are saying. Maybe even hearing more than what people are actually saying. The thing behind the thing. I’m encouraging all my kids in this, mainly because I see the power it has. I want us to be known as a family that loves others well, and I think a big key to that is hearing them.
I’m learning what power there is in really hearing people. Really listening to peoples hearts, and their hurts helps to validate them. Letting people process out loud and share helps heal.
My husbands grandfather was in town awhile back, and we did a lot of listening. We loved hearing his stories, wisdom and insight. He shared about Grandma, who we lost several months ago…where they met, the places they went, their adventures in the military. It was beautiful to hear about their love, and you could see the joy he had when he talked about her.
I think one of the biggest gifts we can give to those grieving the loss of a loved one is to listen. Listen to their memories, their feelings, their sadness. I know after we lost my mother in law, I just wanted to talk about her. I still do, I want to remember her, and keep her memory alive. There are few people with whom I can still do that, and I cherish those relationships and spaces.
On the flip side, I got to hear some pretty exciting news recently. It wasn’t mine to share, so I had to keep it to myself, but it was so fun to rejoice with the news giver! And as they tentatively laid out the information and saw someone else delight in it, I saw their joy and excitement grow. Hearing people and validating their joy, helps them to feel celebrated. Something I think we could use to feel a little more often.
I think in our busy and rushed society that expects thoughts to be processed in 140 characters or less, we don’t give enough space to really hear people.
Maybe grieving takes longer because we don’t have the patience to let people process their grief.
Maybe hurts hurt longer because we don’t hear and acknowledge the hurt.
Maybe joys aren’t as celebrated because there aren’t people listening and rejoicing.
Maybe peace isn’t obtained because we don’t want to hear what peace would take and do the work.
I’ve felt pretty overwhelmed by all the sorrow in our world recently. It seems tragedy is permanently emblazoned on the front page.
Some of the worlds troubles can’t be reconciled just by hearing and listening to people…but some of it can. And that which can’t be solved through it, can only be helped by it.
The bible over and over encourages us toward sympathy, and listening. If you read through the books of Matthew/Mark/Luke or John you see that when Jesus wasn’t teaching, He was listening. To others, and to His father, God. He listened to peoples grief, their joy, their pain, and applauded their faith in the midst of it.
I’m trying to close my mouth more often and open my ears (and heart!) more.
Do the Hard Thing today and listen more than you talk. Try to really hear people and their hearts.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
This post is part of the #write31days challenge hosted by The Nester.
Click here to read all the posts in the 31 days of Doing the Hard Thing series.
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