The beginning of October. I love October.
As my time hop app graciously reminded me, this time last year I embarked on a challenge called Write 31 days. It challenges you to pick a topic, and write on it for 31 days. It did just that, challenge me! I was so glad I did it though, and looking back, those are some of my favorite pieces I’ve written.
I’ve been avoiding this space a bit. Part of it’s the craziness of life, and paper chasing for adoption a second time. I think most of it though, has been a serious onslaught of insecurity and fear. There has been a lot going on in my life and mind and heart in the last 6 months. Some of it has led to the struggle of insecurity grabbing a foothold again. I’ve been a bit fearful about sharing some of that too. Not to mention, writing isn’t my comfort zone. I feel like it’s an area the Lord keeps prodding me to press into, but I don’t feel very good at this. I love writing, and find it incredibly therapeutic, but I don’t think I’m all that great. I feel more comfortable feeding you good food, planning something, or listening. I would never label myself as a writer.
I’m not writing for 31 days again. Not this year, not in this phase of life. But I am hoping to show up around here a bit more, with more than adoption updates. To continue to step out of my comfort zone and face fear and insecurity head on. And be obedient…even though I don’t always know why I’m being prompted to do this.
Maybe you have your own thing you need to face down this October. That space or place or thing you keep avoiding because of fear or insecurity. Because sometimes comfort just feels good and you want to stay right where you are. Because right now that thing isn’t as easy as you thought it was, or you’re not as good as you thought you’d be. YET. I love this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
October has always seemed like a bit of a fresh start to me. The school year has found it’s rhythm and routine, the holiday craziness hasn’t hit yet. The crisp air and colored leaves bring renewed vigor. I’m claiming this week as my fresh start for some rhythms, routines, and disciplines I want to be better about, one of which is being here more. So add some things in, let some things go, and embrace the glorious season you’re in!
