Appointments and Real Life

Straight up? It’s been a really hard 48 hours.

We started the week weary, both of us still sick, but needing to hit the ground running. Chris had an insane amount of work to catch up on, and I had 4 kids. Plus a ton of laundry, suitcase clutter EVERYWHERE, and all the emails and forms and appointments.

Imagine bringing a newborn home after a two week long trip and you’ll have a small idea of what we’ve been looking at. Except insurance companies add newborns without a second thought, while that’s not the case with adopted kiddos.

On Monday we had our pediatric cardiologist appointment (after getting up with both girls at 5:30am) to see what the prognosis of her heart was. It was a 2 1/2 hour long appointment with a toddler, who was a champ, but it was still tough. Lots of holding down  and consoling. But in the end we got really great news. As our Doctor put it, it was the best case scenario he could see after reading her file. We will have some surgery within the next year or two, but it should be a long time before we are looking at open heart surgery, which is a HUGE praise! Plus we got to come off her horrible meds!

It was a long afternoon since we hadn’t had a nap, and my other three are still figuring out life with a new addition.

Chris and I fell asleep on the couch at like 9pm.

Tuesday we had a pediatrician appointment, which was intense. Thankfully our incredible sitter came over to watch my other 3 again so I could be focused on Naomi, and the others could have some normal fun time.

There are a lot of tests to run on adopted kiddos. They are basically having to make up for three years without having any.  So we had shot updates, and lots of blood to draw. Seven vials, and a poke in both hands. Surprisingly, the hardest part was getting a urine sample. Apparently there’s this bag they can attach, to help avoid a catheter. They put it on at the beginning of the appointment. They got a little, but they weren’t sure it was enough…then some leaked out. For the last hour of the appointment, I held her standing up on the exam table, pushing fluids. This was after two and a half hours already at the office. Girlfriend would not pee, despite her clearly full tummy of liquids. All the poor nurses stuck around during their lunch, coming in to check on her, but finally I decided we were both done and we would need to do a cath. That really sucked, and was the hardest part for her. But finally we were done and could head home. She fell asleep in the car and when we got home, refused to go down for a nap again.

So I packed up all four to head to Target and cross school supplies off my list before they sold out.

One of the not so cool things I noticed about kids in China is that they don’t seem to do discipline there. When I asked how they told kids to ask “please” for something, I was told they don’t do that. So please imagine a toddler who has never been told no, doesn’t know how to ask nicely, hasn’t had a nap, has had a very intense day, and doesn’t know how to communicate with you in Target with my other crazy three and you can guess how the afternoon went. Hindsight is 20/20, but I also needed out of the house and to cross something off my list.

Thankfully our sweet friends brought us not just dinner, but alcohol, and EK got to play with one of her besties which was a perfect break for her.

We got kids to bed later than intended, and then we proceeded to get in a fight.

Not the small squabble, but the super intense kind, bringing up basically the entire history of your marital issues into one.

It wasn’t pretty.

It was exhaustion, and sickness, and being spent, and two weeks of trying to keep on keeping on, and wondering what the hell we were thinking, and I don’t think I can do this all rolled into one.

We worked it out and kissed and made up, but it also revealed the hard we were both dealing with.

This morning was a normal wake up time. There was coffee shortly after waking. Everyone ate. I actually was able to spend some time in the Word. We all chilled and stayed in pj’s way too long. I got a shower. Naomi got a nap. I can see part of my bedroom floor again and the kids have clean clothes. Today is a new day and it feels like we might actually make it again.

I’m clinging to a verse I read this morning:

“and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.” Isaiah 58:10

We have so much we are trying to catch up on, including unpacking from a trip I spent two months packing for. We have lots of emails and texts and calls, which we are so grateful for, but also feel a little guilty because we can’t keep up with them all.

We know we have a best case scenario. With medical stuff, with her and her personality, and it really is good! But it can also be really hard too, and that’s where we are at.

I want to love and snuggle each of my bio kiddos, and hear how they are processing all of this. But there’s no time and Naomi needs a lot from me right now, and I feel guilty that I can’t be everything to everyone, and that my house is a disaster.

I know we are in the thick of it, and it will get better. God is so gracious in the midst of the crazy. But we are still just barely keeping our heads above water.

But just like the rest of this process, we are going to keep on keeping on. And trust that our night will become like the noonday.