I appreciate y’all allowing me my moment of wallowing in self pity last week.
It was the final culmination of a couple super hard weeks.
As always, God was faithful to show up. Not always in the way I want, or expect.
As I was reflecting on last week, I realized that what Bob Goff often says is true; we are God’s love letters to each other.
Last week God very strategically placed little love letters to me. Encouraging notes, promises of prayer I know were followed through on (and felt!), hugs, a sweet gift, a final donation to our matching grant that completed that fundraiser, and stories from those who have persevered.
I was praying for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, or the presence of God, or words on a page to breathe life into my soul. And while I got whispers of those things, what spoke loudest into the darkness was other people.
As I intimately shared ways I was struggling (it’s been hitting from all sides, y’all) with a trusted few, in response I heard the same thing: I know it’s hard, but keep pressing on.
I was heard, and then I was encouraged.
I wasn’t fed a few “pat on the back” words, but I was given empathy and shown compassion.
And when you have women that have the sort of faith stories that some of the ones in my life do, and can testify to God’s faithfulness through the storm, you listen.
Like my friend who recounted how she was literally on her deathbed, crying tears that couldn’t be wiped away due to lack of mobility, and maybe not that day, or the next week, but eventually God showed up. In fact, you’d never guess there had been anything wrong with her.
Or my other friend who watched as her dad’s body was carried from the house while simultaneously fielding a phone call from her husband finalizing the divorce he alone wanted. And how God was in it all.
When women like that tell you of faith and hope, and are walking testimonies, you listen. And you if you are smart, you glean hope and faith from theirs.
Then I had my friend who simply said, I’m struggling in the exact same way right now; I don’t have faith for myself, but I can have it for you.
Maybe we are always going to stumble and trip our ways through this faith journey. Maybe the thing that keeps us from completely falling on our faces are the stories and the offerings of a hand up from those who have seen God show up.
I struggle with having the level of faith I want to. I want to always believe in God’s goodness and faithfulness, and His love. I don’t want to doubt or struggle, but sometimes life just makes it hard.
It’s funny; I rarely struggle having faith and hope for those I care about. I might not always be able to see what the heck God is doing in my own life, but I see all the hope and potential and the beautiful plan He is weaving for others. As I speak that over them and help meet tangible needs, and they speak what they see over me and offer me a hand up, little by little we make our way down the path of faith.
People got me through what a friend has coined as the “$hit-storm” we all occasionally pass through in life.
The prayers echoed in silence, the stories of faith confirming that God WILL show up, and the words of encouragement and hope that others had on my behalf, the laughter that came around the tables I collapsed into this weekend…
Sometimes when we are begging for God to make himself known, and He does…through others. Love letters to us, delivered through His people.
I hope I’m always open to be His messenger.
