My first experience with hospitals that I vividly recall was going to visit my grandmother after she had open heart surgery. My adolescent self felt so intimidated and scared by all the machines and hoses and cords. She was still intubated, and couldn’t speak, just laid there lifeless. A vivacious woman now completely immobilized for weeks to come. I would watch her walk that journey once more, and eventually it would take her life. Just like it had taken her dads when she was young, and her brothers.
My husbands birth was a way that God brought life out of death. His mom and grandparents had just buried a brother and a son. In a perfect storm of events, a heart issue similar to cardiomyopathy took the life of an 18 year old boy. A life gone too soon that would be missed at each family gathering, holiday and birthday to come.
As I walked out of the doctors office I plopped into the car stunned, undeterred by the craziness of a baby and preschooler in the back. In my hand was a referral sheet for the pediatric cardiologist and the date of the appointment they had already called ahead to make. In my mind was the concerned look of the doctor as she listened for an extra long time, moving the stethoscope across his tiny chest. Watching you baby be hooked up to machines and cords for hours and calming them in process is no small task. We left the appointment feeling encouraged but intimidated by the life of tests that laid before us.
Hearts feel familiar. Theres’ even more history that described above where that very important organ has impacted different parts of our lives.
When we applied to adopt from Kyrgyzstan, there was no special needs checklist. It was assumed there would be special needs, but it was hard to know what they would be. We thought we would cross that bridge when we got to it. Common problems were cleft lips and palettes. Over and over I sensed that God was telling me our girl was going to have heart issues, but I was scared to voice that fear. It still felt very intimidating and scary.
When we switched to China, the very daunting special needs checklist had to be filled out. We researched, and talked, asked questions, researched some more, talked more abruptly, was afraid to research any more and prayed as we attempted to fill out that form. And I finally voiced what I felt God had been speaking to me during our Kyrgz wait. Not only did we already have a pediatric cardiologist, but we also *just so happened* they were affiliated with Sibley heart center, which *just so happens* to be one of the top 5 pediatric cardiologist units in the country. And the heart stuff seemed less scary. So heart issues, as severe as they go was the main special need we were open to on our checklist.
It turns out heart issues can have a pretty big variance. Some issues are minor, only needing regular check-ups (like our sons), some fix themselves, and some can require multiple open heart surgeries, and possible even a transplant. But we were open and prayerful.
We now know that our daughter will have a complex CHD (congenital heart defect). She has already had 2 open heart surgeries, and will potentially require more. (looking forward to sharing more about this soon!)
As we process through a lot of medical information, and do a ton of research, I’m also struck by how God is in this.
The losses, pain and fear that were connected to this organ in our past is also what made it seem more familiar to us. The pain birthed a purpose.
The loss that our family has mourned as they lost a spouse, or son, or sibling is being redeemed. A little girl in another country is getting a chance at life as a result of others death.
God is always faithful to bring beauty from ashes. Maybe it doesn’t happen right away. Or even the next year. Or the next decade. But He does it. Maybe we won’t understand the pain or heartache or troubles we are walking through even in our lifetime, but I believe that generations to come will be able to look back and say “God was at work”. God brought beauty from that pain, and praise Him for His faithfulness; just as we are doing now.
*February is CHD awareness month. Congenital Heart Defects are the #1 birth defect in the world. 1 in 100 children are born with a heart defect. CHD is 60 times more prevalent than childhood cancer. CHD is the leading cause of infant death in the United States.. One of the biggest ways you can help kids with CHD is simply to raise awareness. Another way is to donate to a family or organization (like this one we love, and helped us with our first heart kiddo, and who we have loved giving back to!) that is dealing with CHD. It isn’t as well known about as cancer, and involves crazy expensive tests and procedures, so most families are in desperate need of financial assistance. Finally, one of the most important, be a blood and organ donor!!! Lots of kiddos with CHD end up needing heart transplants, but unfortunately there aren’t enough organ donors to cover the need. It’s a simple thing that can have life changing affects on multiple families. Talk about seeing life and redemption out of the hard and sad! There are 40,000 units of blood used each day, and over half of that is used by CHDers. While my rockstar husband has been giving blood regularly for the last couple of years, I have not. Time to step up my game. Giving blood saves lives!
Congratulations!
Thank you!