I get a little bit cranky the first few days after Halloween.
Sometimes I think it’s the sugar crash from stealing my kiddos candy, but I think after a few years, I’ve finally figured out what it is. The mourning of Thanksgiving.
I’m not one of those bah-humbug, throwing shade at the Target christmas trees on November 1 sort of people. I have all the feels for Christmas. But I think the bypassing of Thanksgiving diminishes the greatness of Christmas.
I’ve been wooed by Thanksgiving as an adult.
In a crowded apartment in Ukraine picking feathers with my future husband out of a sad turkey scrounged up at the local outdoor market. In my parents home, the home I grew up with, as a new mom shoveling mashed pumpkin pie into the gummy grin of my firstborn. At my in laws, as we smiled for the paparazzi (my FIL) and ate things like sawdust salad, pictures we now treasure and memories we cherish with the vibrant redhead now gone.
It’s delicious food, laced with memories, traditions, and familiarity. It’s the best of company, huddled and often squished together around a table, giving thanks for what’s before us and beside us. It’s the kids table giggling together, and the new mamas chasing down a toddler. It’s grandpa falling asleep on the recliner before any cleanup has been done, and it’s sleeves rolled with arms in dishwater next to loved ones. It’s a pause, and a deep inhale, and really seeing all that is there, even if there is much that has been lost and is broken.
See Thanksgiving prepares our hearts for the gift.
The thanks has to come before the giving. If not, I fear there becomes no thanks and giving, but just getting.
As Ann Voskamp says “thanksgiving always precedes the blessing”. It’s true in the bible, and it’s true in this season.
Without the pause of Thanksgiving, we miss so much of the blessing that is Christmas. We become the consumerism we shake our fists at that has stores opening on Thanksgiving. Oh the irony that we’ve skipped the giving thanks as we preceded straight to the “give me!”
I’m not skipping Thanksgiving this year. We are pausing, and breathing deep this season. While the world tells us all we don’t have and need and are lacking, we are saying, it’s enough, and see that it is good, and say thank you.
While there are tons of great ideas to do this on Pinterest, several of which I’ve tried, I’m not overcomplicating this season. Truth is we are pushing hard for a last bit of adoption paperwork, and I just don’t have the bandwidth, or a moment to squeak out for some of these fabulous ideas. I printed this worksheet (one I’ve used in years past), and my kids write/color what they are thankful for. Then we hang it up right by where we eat and remember. Sometimes we add to it. We revisit the idea of thankfulness. We read about where Jesus fed the 5,000, but first gave thanks for what he had (usually in the Jesus Storybook Bible). It’s an ongoing conversation.
I don’t feel like I need to get fancy or big with it, because I think that’s the beauty of Thanksgiving. When everything feels small and insufficient, it turns what you have into enough. It’s something we talk about regularly. One of my kiddos in particular often struggles with a less than stellar attitude. Often, I will make him sit with a notebook and write things that he has and that he is grateful for. Because gratitude is learned, and God knows I’m trying to do both the learning and the teaching.
So we pause. Our Christmas tree is not up, there are no Christmas carols in our home. There are pumpkins and turkeys, and thoughts of bacon apple cheddar dressing. We are practicing thanks, and preparing for giving.
I’m all for Thanks and Giving, but this year, I want to make sure I’ve said thanks before I practice the giving.