Today was tough. Not awful, or unbearable, which I know it had the full potential to be, but tough. We had a rough night last night, was up late and up early. Each day Naomi shows more and more of her real personality, which is mostly incredible.
We spent a lot of the time in the van today, driving around the city both to her orphanage and then to her finding spot. The girls played quite well in the back of the van together before the orphanage. Girlfriend loves to color.
The orphanage was really tough. So much to take in and try to comprehend. This was one of her nannies that brought her to the government building on family day. I think she was really attached to our girl. Today she mostly avoided us, I think because it was really hard on her. They were having lunch at 10:30 in the morning. Lunch seemed to consist of one dumpling mixed into a very soupy soft rice. It looked incredibly unappetizing, plus it didn’t seem like there was much time for each kid to eat. I’m understanding why our girl is so tiny.
There was another family that was with us, and the girl being adopted is 12. We went into her room, and that was pretty hard. These kids were waving to EK and she went over and said hi and tried to talk to them. All of these kids were still sleeping in cribs, and had more intense needs.
I cannot do justice to how proud of EK I am. She has had to see and experience SO much this trip and she just rolls with it like a champ. She’s been so patient with Naomi, and gracious with her as she tests the boundaries. She’s amazing.
There are more pictures we have of the orphanage, but they are on the other camera, these are all phone pics for right now. There are over 500 kids at the orphanage, most with pretty intense special needs. Then we passed a baby room, FILLED. It was awful.
We walked through the maze of hallways again, and just like that, my daughter left the orphanage for her last time. No longer an orphan, but a daughter.
It really is miraculous.
We’ve seen more and more of her personality, and she definitely has some sass and sauce in her. We’ve seen giggles, and rough housing, and quite clearly communicating what she wants. Then when we stepped back into the orphanage, the quiet, somber faced little girl that had been described to us returned. She hardly interacted with the other kids or nannies, and seemed quite happy to walk back out the doors. We were kind of surprised at how ok she seemed to be doing.
Until we got in the van.
Shortly into the trip to her finding spot, she jerked something from EK, and hit her. I pulled her into my lap, and she started a full on melt down kicking and crying and flailing. We moved up away from EK, since she was also trying to kick her. She ended up on the floor of the van crying the first real tears we’ve seen since family day. Just as we pulled up to her finding spot. Chris hopped out and took her, because she had to be carried inside, and she was fighting and thrashing most of the time.
We asked our guide what the word for please was to start teaching her, and was informed that the Chinese don’t teach their kids to say that. So we are working on parenting a 2 1/2 year old who has never had to ask nicely for anything, been told no, and seemed to be one of the favored children in the orphanage. This should be fun. We are basically having to say yes to everything and just survive while in country. And seriously, EK’s selflessness at just handing over everything she’s been playing with is incredible!
My guess is that the giant meltdown on the van was more grieving and processing leaving the orphanage, as well as being tired and hungry, but it was still tough.
I’m so glad we had the opportunity to go to where she was found. I had some thoughts about it, but it was neat to see the guide confirm a lot of them. Our daughter was found at a kind of gift shop/convenient store inside the best children’s hospital in Shanghai, that is known for surgery.
She was a few months old when she was found. The intentionality of where she was left blows my mind, and breaks my heart. As we walked the halls I imagine parents hiding in the masses watching to make sure their baby was found, trusting she would get the care she needed, but that they couldn’t provide.
We’ve already been asked about our plans to adopt again; and while I won’t say never, I do know it’s not our intention. Instead, our heart is to help fund surgeries like the one our daughter needed so that other children can stay in families that want them, but can’t afford the care they need.
Baby girl is napping after her pasta lunch at our European oasis, while Chris and EK play in the pool. After this we are packing up tonight because early in the morning we leave for Guangzhou. I CANNOT wait to get there. To see our friends, and to have a better feel for the lay of the land (almost all the adoptive parents for all of China stay at the hotel we will be at), and to be one city closer to HOME.